220

I woke up and decided to weigh myself. I wasn’t shocked to see 220.2 but I was ashamed. I can’t believe my little frame has to carry that much weight around!

I should feel worse about that number but I don’t because I know it’s going to be completely different tomorrow. I knew my weight was going to be elevated because I’m on my perioed and I ate a lot of salt last night, which contributed to my weight gain. But, at the same time, even when my bloat subsides that’s probably going to be 2 pounds maximum. I’m not retaining 10 pounds of water.

This is a major issue. I have some serious work to do.

If I plan on taking before pictures, this is the day to do it.

Is this rock bottom?

Shouldn’t I feel worse. I mean, I feel pretty bad physically but mentally I know I can fix this.

I’m at that place again where my fingers are so swollen I can hardly type. Every sweater that used to be baggy is tight and I notice how much my legs get in the way when I’m walking.

I know what I have to do.

I started a video diary. Seeing myself has made me want to make a change even more and it’s also a good way for me to accept myself. I feel excited to peel away the extra fat so I can find the other girl living inside of me. The one who showed up in Mexico and PEI. The cool girl filled with confidence and swag. That’s who I want to be again. I want to completely change my identity.

My goal was to stay away from processed foods today but I ate some chips at Mom and Dad’s and I ate 4 granola bars….4. I didn’t buy chips or chocolate though and I don’t plan on it.

I can’t wait to watch my face change as I take my video diaries. I feel confident that I’m going to change. I’m doing all kinds of good things and I can’t wait to keep going.

-Dawn Rochelle ♡