Love Your Body Today

Today I’m going to accept my body as it is right now. I’m going to be grateful that it’s kept me healthy and well abled for so long despite the abuse I’ve subjected it to.

I’m also going to support loving myself by wearing comfortable clothes even though I’m going to feel a little sloppy. There’s nothing worse than going to work in clothes that are too tight. There’s something about wearing clothes that fit that make you feel good.

That just reminded be of a pea coat I got one year for Christmas. Mom was always helping me look my best. She often got me things she wanted me to wear and not things I liked. Anyway, I remember seeing the number 6 on the tag. I felt defeated because I knew it wouldn’t fit me but when I tried it on it did and I felt like a million bucks.

“Was I actually skinnier than I thought?”

My elation ended quickly because I realized it was a size 16 and not a size 6.

I hated it instantly and asked my Mom to take it back. I didn’t want anyone to know I was wearing a jacket that big.

Another similar story happened when I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding.

The dresses came from a company in China so we all decided to order our dresses together. I ordered without measuring because I was too embarrassed for my friends to know what size I was. I thought I would order smaller than I was and then I would work toward fitting into it.

Needless to say, when the dress arrived it didn’t fit and I had to order a new one in a bigger size. I couldn’t return the first dress because I didn’t want to get the order information from my friends and have to explain that the giant dress I ordered was too small.

I was out a lot of money and I was super embarrassed about it. To make matters worse, my friends aunt asked me to borrow the dress months later and instead of giving her the dress I wore I gave her the first dress and of course it didn’t fit her. I could tell she was confused but I just let it go because it made me feel good to know that my dress was too small for her. How twisted is that?

I’ve grown a little bit since then, this summer I bought a 2X jean jacket and I love it. I almost fell back into my old patterns but I bought it and even told a friend what size it was.

That jean jacket is an example of what I need to do more often. Love and accept myself for the way I am right now. You really do look better in clothes that fit. I think it might be healthy to throw out all the clothes that are too small for me. They’re just another reminder for me to feel bad about myself and they’re just taking up space.

So how will I show love to myself? I’m going to start by dressing comfortably and looking myself in the mirror. I know Louise Hay would want me to say, “I love you, “ when I’m looking at myself but I don’t know if I want to do that yet because I’ll feel dumb.

I think Kamal Ravikant would want me to do that as well. Okay, maybe, if I don’t feel so dumb. Just the simple act of looking at myself in the mirror can be so hard so I’m just going to try looking at myself with acceptance or at the very least, I won’t avoid my reflection anymore.

I remember working with this girl who drove me crazy because she would stare at herself whenever she saw the slightest reflective surface. She wasn’t shy about it either, I could tell she loved looking at herself and I was so annoyed by it.

I thought she was super conceited and full of herself. She kind of was but she should have been because she looked amazing every day. She was very well put together with make up and clothes and her body was super fit.

She made me so envious. I was hating on her because she had what I wanted. I was “one of those.”

She should have been looking at herself and she should have been loving herself because she consistently did the hard work to get there.

She was obsessed with looking good and thats where I want to be. She was strict with her exercise and she was strict with her diet and because of that, she admired her looks.

When your hard work pays off you should admire it and feel proud. I want to feel proud of the way I look.

-Dawn Rochelle ♡