New Challenges
Its the start of 2024 and I’m going to give myself a 30 day challenge to see how it affects me. I’m going to consistently exercise for 30 minutes 3 times per week. I’m not going to give myself the pressure of every day because I’m not sure I can commit to that but I’m going to go for 3 days. When I’m working I don’t think I’m going to work out in the morning only because I don’t like getting sweaty before work and right now I’m telling myself that I don’t have enough time in the morning to do that.
I’m having a weird morning because I wanted to get up to exercise but because I’m back to work today I felt like I had to stay in bed for as long as I could even though I had Wes Watson and Mel Robbins in my head about it. For some reason I decided to stay there even though there were multiple things happening that I think were convincing me to get out of bed like things falling off the table and my partner stealing the blankets. I feel like they were signs from the universe to get up but I still didn’t.
I’m wondering if the morning is the best time for me to work out during the work week. I know it is but I want to see if I might do a workout after school today. I know I won’t because I have to go to my Mom’s for supper since my nephews are still home. There always seems to be obligations in the evening getting in the way of the things I should be doing which reiterates the need for me to take care of it in the morning. Maybe I’ll get up early tomorrow to do it but maybe I’ll do it after work as well. I have to remember, I don’t have to do it today because I’m only committing to 3 days a week.
I’m still working on shifting my identity to a fit girl. I’m definitely not there yet because I had a stall in my progress. I let my annoyance with my family convince me to buy a vape which made it okay for me to eat badly. I ate so badly that I immediately shifted back to the fat girl identity. I felt bad about myself and I didn’t think it was possible for me to make the changes in my health that I really want to make. I have to work on healing my thoughts without any help from outside substances. I’m proud of myself though because after the second day of smoking I threw it in a pot of water knowing it would be ruined forever and I wouldn’t be smoking it. Confirmation of destruction was necessary because after the first day, I threw it in the garbage can but I fished it out the next morning and smoked all day.
I’m feeling a desire to train for a marathon this summer. The more I exercise the more I want to do it. I’m just going to keep dropping weight and then see what happens. I remember feeling so proud of myself the last time I was able to complete something like that and it was amazing for me to realize that I had the potential. I don’t want to train right now because it’s winter and I don’t like training on the road when its slippery and the trail I like running on is filled with snow as well. But, its something I’m thinking about and I I’ll take “just thinking about fitness at this point.”
I felt some jealousy that I had to deal with yesterday. A friend of mine is building a garage package to have for her bungalow in the summer and I had instant feelings about it. I had feelings because I want what she’s about to have and I’m not taking the steps to get there.
I can’t seem to make a decision about my dream home but I’m going to have to do something because I don’t want to dream about it forever. I need to take more action toward that goal in 2024. I think my issue is that I’m jealous of the support she has to get it done while I’m all on my own. I still wonder if I should be considering building a bungalow or building a house. When I realize that she’s building a bungalow it makes me want to build one as well and put it right on the hill. If she’s building that close to the water then maybe I should as well.
I think it was Robert Greene who said,
“Intelligent people don’t learn from their mistakes, they learn from other’s mistakes.”
Big changes are happening in 2024 and I’m ready for it. I’m just going to continue working on my mindset and I’m going to stick to the promises I make for myself.
-Dawn Rochelle ♡
